But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. Acts1:8 (NIV) I'm one of those people who can multi-task pretty well and actually love trying to juggle those balls! But I've finally learned that even though I can do that, there is great value in saying no, in order to focus on "the one thing". Remember that line in the movie City Slickers? There is a danger of dreaming big dreams and trying to start at the "ends of the earth". But that isn't what the verse says. What I now know is that spreading myself out to the ends of the earth doesn't produce much fruit or lasting power. Of course the temptation in Africa is to try and do it all. To respond to the zillions of requests. To try and help almost every person you meet every day. It's hard. But my experience with St. Andrews Secondary School here in Naivasha has taught me to focus. How? Because to water the seed with one small project, sprouts many flowers, all of which can be nourished to produce more seeds! But it starts with one. The lasting, sustainable power that comes from focus is truly amazing. Let me give you an example. Joining the Board of Governors of the school opened doors to an awareness of not just finding trying to help one child, one term, one year to pay school fees. Because if you only help him or her for one year, then what about the next year? Will that child have to leave school then? Read the stories of our Eagles Wings Project updates on this website. Read the story of Sebastian. And what about the depth of other problems with the youth from the slum who attend St. Andrews. Issues of poverty, which leads to dysfunctional families in despair, child abuse, alcoholism, prostitution, wife beating, and more. It's like peeling an onion to get to the core of the complicated issues that need to be addressed to really, truly help. So my primary focus is to do what I can with this school and community, and to stick with the one person, the one family, the one project as God reveals them to me. My work at St. Andrews has brought into my view dreams of mine for youth that can expand to serve the school as well. Like the Summer Camp (read about that in the website as well!) And for Greg, working with the pastors in the community will help to strengthen the core. Rather than responding to all those unrelated requests with Band-Aid temporary help I have chosen to focus. Not just at St. Andrews where there are more projects than you can imagine, but here in the community of Lake Naivasha, our home and the home of ministry from Eagles Wings. THIS is my Jerusalem. Greg joins me in our Eagles Wings projects here, but his Jerusalem is with the students and programs of ICM in Kitale, where he is academic dean, alumni coordinator and teacher. And you know the blessing of this choice? It is not me, it is not Greg that will be the witnesses in Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth, but those we educate, encourage and empower to take what we offer beyond our Jerusalem. And for those like these young students and others in our Jerusalem of Lake Naivasha to have a chance to realize their dreams and be lifted up to serve others in the name and with the heart of Jesus. | Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not be faint. |
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I do not have a personal written journal. Those thoughts and moments are lived in my head and they are usually fleeting, so often I wish I did write them down. People tell me I should write more. Well, today was one of those moments for me that I knew I wanted to share because it was so amazing! Lately I have had a heavy heart and it has been hard to find beams of light. The circumstances are personal and it is not necessary to share them, but like people who journey through struggles, I know that the "personal nature" is also a common one for many others, so I write today for you. I have always found God in nature much easier than in other places. So from the deck of Eagles Wings in the dawning morning light on most days, I read from a wonderful, small devotional book by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling, and also from Henri Nouwen's Bread for the Journey. Henri Nouwen is my very favorite devotional writer - he was a Jesuit missionary, pastor and lecturer on the faculty of Harvard and Yale Divinity Schools. If you have not read any of his writings, DO SO! I was catching up from the last 3 days, so today as I read the writing for January 8th it seemed remarkable. They both had the same message. From Jesus Calling: Softly I announce my presence. Shimmering hues of radiance tap gently at your consciousness, seeking entrance. Though I have all power in heaven and on earth, I am infinitely tender with you. The weaker you are, the more gently I approach you. Let your weakness be a door to My Presence. Whenever you feel inadequate, remember that I am your ever-present Help. Hope in Me, and you will be protected from depression and self-pity. Hope is like a golden cord connecting you to heaven. The more you cling to this cord, the more I bear the weight of your burdens; thus, you are lightened. Heaviness is not of My kingdom. Cling to hope, the My rays of Light will reach you through the darkness. As I lowered the book and looked up across the still cloudy, dark plains below, an amazing ray of light began to shine on the hills. The sky was heavy above the breaking light underneath it as the light slowly spread across the top of the hills. Over the next 10 minutes it crept slowly toward me, lighting the plains and the animals below. It was truly breathtaking and I knew it was just for me. It warmed me as I sat there, it was as though God was gently covering me with his blanket. His message was enhanced with my reading from Henri Nouwen: Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, "How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now?" There are no answers to these questions. Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. Let's rejoice in the little light we carry and not ask for the great beam that would take all shadows away. So although the light eventually filled my space this morning, it needs to spread yet further. I cannot tell you how important it is for me and for you to find a still, quiet beginning to your day and "be still and know that I am God", where He can encourage you in some way. For me, my epiphany moments are always on the "deck" at Eagles Wings. It is our special place - God's and mine - and although my heavy heart and circumstances are still there, I feel some of the burden and load lifted. It is good to be reminded that my God knows all and walks with me, carrying much of the load. I know that this message is going to bless others of my dear friends who are struggling now (you know who you are), and I really only share this so that we also know that we are not alone in our journeys. I pray for you and ask your prayers for me, and through our prayers I know the Lord will bless us. Well, there isn't any "road rage" in Kenya except for me. They don't honk, they don't know how to drive, they think nothing of passing on hills around curves and expecting that you will "let them in" with about 2 inches to spare or the whole drivers side of your car is gone.
Someone once said "I would give a million dollars to be inside an African's head for 10 minutes". I don't think that would do it. I will NEVER get it. The "Africa Nice" way of living lends itself to rudeness, selfishness, and just plain nonsense at times. Now don't get me wrong. There are wonderful things about "Africa Nice" too - people care about each other, families can be counted on to help, and they are almost too nice at times for their own good. I suppose we can all learn from each other. But this road nonsense makes me crazy. I am the ONLY crazy mzungu (white person) that lays on my horn and mutters loudly in my car - "IDIOT"! My good friend from England doesn't lay on her horn but does mutter loudly "BLOODY IDIOT!" The road rage comes when I see them completely ignoring me and probably shaking their heads and laughing at the crazy woman. I read the other day that over 2500 people were killed on the roads in Kenya last year INSANE! Kenya is the size of what ... Minnesota? Most of those deaths were from IDIOT matatu and bus and lorry drivers who take unbelievable risks and seem to think they are invincible. Unfortunately, when there is a fatal accident many people are usually killed. So why? Well, lack of enforcement of traffic rules doesn't help - the policeman (or woman) who will look the other way for "something small" from the person who does not have the money to keep their vehicle in good shape or pay the insurance or whatever. It kind of reminds me of the mafia asking for "protection". But none of this is a surprise to most of us who live here. So I was on the road to Nakuru about an hour from Eagles Wings, and as my blood pressure was just on the way down after almost wearing out my horn needlessly, a bus passed me (on a curve uphill as usual). It was a new shiny white bus with the school logo and name emblazoned on the side...Ruiru Boys Secondary School. For the next 10 kilometers I dodged paper bags, yogurt containers and even a dirty baby diaper (Pampers have come to Kenya - shame), as they were casually tossed out the windows of the bus. Now the rage really hit me! I was furious! This younger generation of privileged, fairly wealthy children at a very good high school didn't care. They didn't care about the environment, they didn't care about personal responsibility, and what is even worse if that they probably never even thought about it. After all, it wasn't THEIR highway. I doubt if they even thought selfishly that someone else would come along and clean it up. There IS a law against littering here but of course it is never enforced. I thought to myself..."I am going to board that bus at the first opportunity when it stops and chew them all out". Oh oh - it's a crazy old mzungu woman. But I've learned that my age will get their attention - I'm sure most of those kids are scared to death of a mother's rage. Then I thought to myself - it won't make any difference at all. But I AM going to write an article for the Nation, our newspaper here, and I will name the school. SO what is it? Do they not care? Probably not. It is not a learned value yet. Heck, I remember as a high school student in Wayzata, Minnesota going to the first McDonald's in St. Louis Park and casually throwing the hamburger wrappers and the red cardboard carrier out the window of the car and never thinking about it. So values development happen over time and habits die hard when replaced with them. But this crazy mzungu woman is NOT going to stop honking her horn, muttering IDIOT or challenging people (mostly drivers) until then! (Actually, there are matatu drivers who tell me I should be one of them because I'm such an assertive driver.) They don't intimidate me at all! And as for those kids? Well, I'm going to send a letter to the Headmaster of Ruiru Boys Secondary School and tell him to find a way to instill values and pride in those kids as future leaders of Kenya! So okay. I'm not making a snow angel, but it was the only picture I could find. My friends and I were making a snowman. But my sister Vicki and I made snow angels that winter I'm sure. 50 years of winters in Minnesota means childhood memories of snowfalls, snowmen, snow angels, snow forts, ice-skating, ice-fishing, freezing fingers and toes, sledding, blowing "smoke", and breaking off the icicles dripping from the roof to lick them like popsicles (carefully - I ripped my lip more than once!). I don't remember making Christmas cookies when I was a little girl (although I'm sure I did), but I do remember making them with my children. And amidst the gingerbread men, the Christmas trees, reindeer, snowmen, and other cutouts there were always the angels, and we would decorate them with white icing and colored candy sprinkles. Then there was the Christmas tree. Lights came first (always done by Dad(s)) and then hanging the ornaments (every year we 4 kids would be able to hang them a little higher so that they weren't all clustered at the bottom of the tree), and then the tinsel. In those days we had the tinfoil kind of tinsel and would wear our socks and scuff across the floor to touch it and get a "shock". But hanging tinsel was a bore - dad wanted us to carefully hang it over a branch one strand at a time. When he left the room we would throw it and couldn't figure out how he knew. But one last thing. At the top of the tree we always put a star, or an angel. Then the lights would be turned on - WOW! Breathtaking. It was the best part! One of the great traditions I like and began with my children, was reading The Night Before Christmas and then The Christmas Story from the Bible as told by Luke to them on Christmas Eve. I love the blending of the traditions with the original true meaning of Christmas. As a matter of fact, one of my favorite pieces I bring out every year is a wooden Santa Claus kneeling at the manger of the Baby Jesus. So back to angels. I never thought really about their significance much until this morning. I was reading the Christmas story in Luke. The angel Gabriel was sent by God to tell Mary she would bear the son of God and name him Jesus. Angels came to the Shepherds in the field outside Bethlehem to tell them of the baby's birth. They were messengers. And guess what? Nobody questioned the truth of what they said. As a matter of fact, when the angels left, the shepherds said to each other, "Come on! Let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this wonderful thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about." When they told the others there about the angels, they expressed astonishment, not disbelief. But there was great rejoicing and singing and praising going on. Naive? Nope. Unbridled belief and faith in what they could not imagine humanly. I suppose I always "knew" the connections and the stories of angels in the Bible and the prayers I pray for others, asking God to wrap his angels around them. I see the angels in traditions, and have seen them in lives of those around me as they are "sent" by God for protection, comfort, or peace, and yes, the symbolism of the angel on the Christmas tree and cookies and snow angels. But this year it has a deeper meaning for me. They are in the forefront of my mind this Christmas. I see them gently floating above my precious grandchildren as they go to sleep Christmas Eve, with visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in their heads, eagerly awaiting the sound of little deer hooves on the roof. And I see them in the lives of those dear parents, grandparents and famillies of the children lost in Connecticut and around the world, gently folding them in their wings. My prayer is that I will be open to seeing the angels that are sent to me as God's messengers to guide me through this life on earth. I am counting on it. Expecting it. Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Glory to the Newborn King Peace on Earth, and mercy mild God and Sinners reconciled.
I recently returned from a visit to the US to visit family, friends, churches and supporters. It was a wonderful time, and as always, emotional for me when it comes time to leave. I've noticed that as missionaries living in a far away country, "home" takes on new meaning. I've also experienced the feeling that I am always saying good-bye. I had to say goodbye to my children, grandchildren, sister, best friend and so many. Yesterday I said goodbye to American friends who came to visit us at Eagles Wings here in Africa. Feeling settled is not easy. |
Deb SnellI have lived in Kenya for almost 25 years and I still know very little! Every day I experience things that change my presuppositions about how things should be and wonder why life isn't easier. Living among people not from my American culture exposes me to these "teachable moments" - I learn something every day - the whys, the hows, the values, the lives of those living in mostly difficult situations. I hope to give you a glimpse into the dilemma, the hope, the ever present questioning, the learning... in these occasional blog posts. Archives
July 2013
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